Stream of Consciousness {Stalled}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I am participating in Stream of Consciousness Sunday, and we’ll just see what happens, ok? Thanks to All Things Fadra for creating this lovely idea/prompt/party.

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I feel stalled in life right now, which seems weird considering I am doing OK. Really, I am. However, the state of Texas has decided to cut educational stuff in it’s attempt to whittle down the budget.

I work in education. I live in Texas. I don’t want to lose my job.

This fear makes me not want to do almost anything because I feel uncertain about the future. There’s a bed we like from Havertys, there’s a dining room I’d love to makeover, there’s a bathroom I want to remodel…and I will do none of it until I feel comfortable about what’s coming ahead. I do know that life is all about uncertainty, and while I usually can deal with that, the thought of having to pay bills and such without a job makes me want to just not spend a dime at all.

Overall, I feel stalled. I want to move forward but my heart is sank so low that I just feel like I am suffocating sometimes. I just want to breathe. I want to breathe freely.

And I really want that damn bed from Havertys. How selfish does that sound? I think it’ll all work out one way or another, but I just want knowledge and comfort so I can live my life.

And man did I find some really awesome tile I would use if I could just start that remodeling project. I probably should cut down on my HGTV watching, but I feel most at peace while watching that channel. I love the beautiful ideas.

One day. Someday.

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spell checking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Go to all.things.fadra. and link up your post.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.