Oh, the Cabinets. {DIY Painting}

I tend to go into DIY projects with a ton of pep, energy and positivity.

Then 5 minutes into the project, I tend to tell pep, energy and positivity that they can bite me on their way out the building.

Several DIY home bloggers that are far more patient and talented than I am, have blogged about the new Rustoleum Cabinet Transformation kits. The small kit is about $80 plus tax at Home Depot or Lowes. If you Google to find information about the kit, you’ll find mixed reviews. My review is going to go into the BAD reviews in Google, and I’ll tell you why.

It sucked. Majorly.

At first, I was all pumped about the kit. I watched the nifty DVD that comes with it about 3 times- I felt confident I understood the techniques needed to get good results. Or so I thought. Step 1 is deglossing which essentially eliminates the need to whip out the sanding blocks or the electric sander. The kit comes with a HUGE bottle of deglosser and 2 scouring pads to scrub down all the cabinet frames, doors, etc. Easy enough. You scrub, wipe with a damp cloth and then dry with a lint-free cloth. Each door took me about 3-4 minutes, so it’s not super time intensive or anything. Easy. A minor annoyance is that they recommend you need gloves to do this, and yet they don’t include any. Seriously? For $80 they couldn’t include a pair of gloves? Minor, but nonetheless annoying. Make sure to scrub with the grain of the wood- super important!

Here’s how a deglossed door looks (very matte):

You let that dry for about an hour and then you can put on the first coat of paint (bond coat). The kit comes with 2 quarts of paint for the cabinet frames, drawers and doors. It doesn’t come with enough paint to paint the interior of the cabinets, but it does come with enough to do the backside of all the doors. I put on coat number 1 using the painting method they tell you which is basically like this- inner panel first, borders last, paint in the direction of the arrows:

I did coat number 1 and immediately, I hated it. Why? The brush strokes! I was using a Purdy brush, and they rock. They are fab. But, the DVD specifically say to NOT use rollers, so I kept on following their instructions using my paint brush. LUCKILY, you start with the back of the doors so you get used to the technique before you do the front. This will be my saving grace later, you’ll see why. But back to me hating it. I tweeted a bloggy friend who is familiar with the kit, and she told me to load up my brushes with more paint to avoid the brush strokes. I also tweeted at Rustoleum, who then told me this:

To which I thought, Why make the glaze OPTIONAL if the painting methods essentially assume you’re going to use the glaze?!

But did I stop painting? No! I even got on the 2nd coat on about 1/2 of the cabinet doors. Here’s what the doors look like after 1 coat and after 2 (2 coats on left, 1 on right):

And then my husband took Pee Wee to the vet, and I just about had a nervous breakdown. I called my mom and was telling her about how I was almost done with most of the cabinet doors (all on the back and 2 I had started on the front already), but I hated the brush strokes AND I hated the color. I chose frost because I wanted a crisp white color, and I was mortified when I noticed it had a slight blue tint to it. It’d be UBER helpful if Rustoleum had swatches at the paint counters (since you pick a color based on a picture on the kit and the paint department of Lowes/Home Depot mixes the paint for you) of what the colors looked like. Because frost did not equal the white I wanted. My cabinets are like the girl/guy you think looks really hot from across the room, and then you start waltzing over to them and you realize they are a HOT MESS. I am a perfectionist and wanted smooth, crisp white cabinets. So, I did what I usually do.

I went nuts.

I blame my mom for this because she was like, “Stop, don’t paint anymore if you hate it” but I heard “YOU SCREWED IT ALL UP! OHMYGOSHSTOP! Put down the brush! You’re killing all the kittens!”

I was freaking out about the money and time I had spent, oh the TIME, I spent on these cabinets only to stop and not finish. Luckily, the money wasn’t a huge issue since Rustoleum does have a money-back guarantee:

So, apparently there’s a check on its way to me to cover the entire cost of the kit. Which is cool. But, I can’t get my spring break back, obviously. I also then had to spend money on 4 packs of these:

And some money on paint stripper and lots MORE time using this:

To take all of these doors:

Back to something like this:

All so that I can do it the RIGHT way. You know, the old-fashioned way of sanding, priming, sanding, 2 coats of paint, a coat of poly, lots of curing time and then I’ll be done.

Would I use this kit again? NO. Not the light kit. I think using the light kit to take dark cabinets to lighter cabinets is a HUGE waste of money unless you plan on using the decorative glaze. If not, save your money and sanity and do it the right way. I would, however, totally use the dark kit to take oak cabinets to a dark espresso color. Furthermore, I am elated that the cabinets I am working on are in my dining room. If I would have screwed up my actual kitchen cabinets, I would have DIED. I was so upset about this mishap, that I think the stress of kitchen cabinets going wrong would have landed me in complete and utter despair. Even though it likely could be fixed.

Luckily, in our kitchen we’d be going from blonde/normal oak to a dark espresso color…essentially opposite of what I was trying to accomplish in the dining room. Rustoleum has awesome products, I just feel like this one is new and might need some tweaks to be great. If you do purchase the kit, make sure to read the box to see what other materials/supplies you will need.

I also thought about taking the easy way out and just staining the cabinets…but they ended up looking exactly the same, so that is not an option. I want white cabinets so I can make this picture come to life in my home:

There’s my dining room makeover update. I essentially wasted hours upon hours of time, and am now worse off then when I started. I have to sand all the doors and do it all over again- the right way.

This leads me to think…when do I have another week off?

Hopefully they’ll be done by Christmas.

Have any painting tips for me to get the gorgeous cabinets I am lusting over? Wanna send me some tequila?

I’ve Hit A Wall {Weight Loss}

{Image Credit: Live on Purpose}

I’ve hit a wall. I’ve hit it so hard that it’s just knocked me out. I’m on the floor, gazing up, out of breath, exhausted and can’t get up.

I’ve hit a wall.

I can’t get up. Or maybe it’s not so much that I can’t get up, it’s that I don’t want to. I try to be inspiring, motivating and friendly on Twitter and on this blog, but I gotta keep it real y’all. I am human. I am not perfect. I don’t have this all figured out. Today is 77 of the 100 days challenge (being active for at least 30 minutes a day- INTENTIONALLY). I’m proud to say I’ve completed 76 days. Some days have been stretching workouts or leisurely walks or sanding the hell out of some cabinets, but I have been intentionally active everyday since December 29th. Technically, it’s day 80 for me, but I’ve only been counting “officially” since January 1st.

I don’t even CARE about finishing anymore. That necklace I am working so hard for can kiss my ass. The thought of 23 more days ahead of me (plus TODAY since I haven’t worked out yet) just makes me want to crawl into the fetal position and rock back and forth. Or eat some cake. And maybe have a tequila shot.

And that’s just to finish this challenge. I still have the overall challenge of wanting to be a skinny bitch. I have a shit-ton more days then, pardon my french.

ohmygawd.

I don’t know if I can do this. Well, that’s a lie. A big, fat lie. I KNOW I can do this. I WANT to do this. I am just really burnt out. Tired. FED UP. And hey, 80 days is good, right? And I have all these people on Twitter who are like, “You can do this!” and while that’s all lovely and quite nice, I feel like screaming, “Yeah, when was the last time YOU worked out for 80 days straight and didn’t want a break?!” But really, I love it when people encourage me, so excuse my snark today, please.

I’m a lunatic. Really I am. If you saw what went down earlier at my house you’d agree with me. I became the absolute meanest person in the world to the person I love the most…my husband. It’s almost like I don’t deserve him. I was so mean. It’s partially because I am going nutso over the dining room makeover (the cabinets, oh the cabinets…more on that tomorrow) and partially because I am just so tired of counting every crumb of food I eat. Weighing every glass of wine. Fretting over every thing I so much as smell because I don’t want to gain weight back.

And yet this week, I have. I’m up almost 3 pounds as of this morning even though I haven’t eaten much this week. See? Stress can add weight even if you don’t stress eat. I am so talented that I can GAIN weight, 10500 calories worth, without even eating them.

I am a professional at being able to be fat. Like a super pro.

I say all this knowing fully that I haven’t binged eaten nor skipped any workouts. I guess I’m just saying I wish I could take a break without being judged. Not that I’d go binge eating for a week, but I know I’d get comments on how I was “so close” to finishing the 100 days and aren’t I disappointed? Maybe I would be. Maybe I’d be happy to just rest.

Or maybe, just maybe… I’ve hit a wall.

Running Like A Girl {By Brooke}

Becoming a Runner Girl

Hi guys…erm…gals! I’m Brooke from Smart + Strong = Sexy. I didn’t start out as a fitness blogger, but have slowly evolved into that over time. My blog originated as a place to document my wedding plans. A few months after I got married, I got sick of people telling me how much weight I was going to gain now that I was married, so a friend of mine and I started taking advantage of the exercise classes our work place offers.

One afternoon she stumbled upon the Couch to 5K program and worked up the genius plan in her mind. We’d start the program and run the inaugural “5K in May” being hosted by a charity in our hometown.

Two years ago, she and I struggled with week 1’s “run 60 seconds, walk 60 seconds, run 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds” Today I’m not only an avid runner, but also a triathlete and marathoner. This January I ran 26.2 miles to complete the Disney Marathon.

That’s me after pausing for a photo op 10 miles into the race – yes, I really was that happy!

I’m not here to brag on myself, but to say you can do it too!

Maybe you don’t want to run a marathon, and that’s fine. But please give running a chance. You might fall in love and join me in the less than 0.1% of the population who’ll call themselves marathoners.

Or maybe you’ll be like my running buddy who has never ran more than a 8k, but that distance provides her with all she needs to maintain a healthy weight and challenge herself to improve her speed.

Still yet you could be like our mutual friend who was inspired to start running because of us…but quit because she didn’t enjoy it. We’re still her friend even though she has bad taste in workouts.

Just kidding…but seriously.

You may hate running, but I’m urging you to please give it a try. Running does far more for me mentally than it does physically. Its empowered me to know that I can do whatever I put my mind to. I’ve shut up critics who’ve doubted my ability to jump from a 5k (3.1 miles) to a half marathon (13.1 miles) in six months.

Running helps me shift my focus from what my body looks like, to what its capable of achieving.

All you need is the Couch to 5K (or similar walk/run plan), a pair of tennies, and a place to train, and a 5K race signup sheet. I’d not recommend sinking a lot of money into shoes before you know how well you’ll stick with it.

As you continue in the sport wicking fabrics, an Ipod, an SPI belt, and some sort of long-run hydration system are handy to have. But for now, put on some sweats, lace up those shoes collecting dust, and hit the road.

You won’t regret it.

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I am so not a runner, and this post makes me consider trying it again. A smidge. I hope all my guest bloggers inspired you to make your lives a bit healthier and beautiful leading to a world with more birthdays, more laughter and more happiness. This is the final guest blogger entry, and I’d like to thank all of my guest bloggers for doing such a great job motivating, inspiring and educating us. Have you ever tried running? Would you ever try running? Let Brooke know in the comments! I’ll be picking winners for the guest blogger comments on Sunday! Leave comments on any/all of these blog posts for chances to win.

Exercise TIME {Fitness}

Hi everyone! This is Fit Bee/Colleen from www.thefitbee.com

When it comes to working out we can all come up with millions of excuses of why we cannot. One of the most prevalent I hear is “I have no time”. Of course in this day and age no one has extra time. But really exercise is an investment in you. There is no greater gift you can give your body than some exercise, it boosts endorphins, makes you feel great, and improves your health. Making even just 20 minutes a day for you to have some me time and get in some activity should be doable.

One great way to get exercise in a fun challenging way is workout videos. I love these because they can be done at home on your own time in your own way. If you have accesses to On Demand they have exercise TV. On exercise TV there are hundreds of free workout videos available for your viewing pleasure. This is a great way to test out some styles and find out which one you enjoy before going out to buy one. Also many videos can be previewed online before you buy them.

My advice, keep trying different videos until you find a few you like. There are tons of great videos out there and every trainer does things a little differently. This gives you an advantage of seeing different styles. I also like to rotate my favorites to keep my body guessing and working.

I enjoy the videos that combine cardio and lifting weights. For me it is the best of both worlds wrapped into 1 intense workout. I really feel they give you the most ‘bang for your buck’. The 30 Day Shred is a great workout that does just that.

Lately I have been using a kettlebell. I love the kettlebell because it is more dynamic and incorporates strength training with cardio. The kettlebell really works your core building it to be stronger. Jillian Michaels came out with Shred It With Weights and I fell in love with this workout.

If you have a child at home, then a home workout can help you greatly you can exercise while they nap, play in another room, or early in the am or after they have gone to bed at night. Workout DVDs give you the freedom to do this. If you work odd hours, cannot afford a gym membership, really if you just prefer to be home then try a workout DVD today!

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Thanks Colleen! Colleen is a huge source of inspiration for me. She’s lost a lot of weight, seriously, check out her AMAZING weight loss on her website. Her journey has made me realize that I can do it, too. And it should make YOU realize you can do anything you set your heart to. How do you find time to exercise or be healthy? Leave a comment for an entry to win some earrings! Now I’m off to exercise before the Lady Gaga concert…gotta make time for it!

Elbow Grease {DIY}

Hello everyone! So nice to be back on my own blog for a bit to chat with all you lovely people. I know it’s my spring break and all, but there’s a lot of fun stuff going on over here at my home. We’ve started to work on our dining room (more on that in a bit) and even starting to look at LCD TV stands for our master bedroom. I told you- LOTS OF STUFF going on that keeps me busy and in a frenzy sometimes.

Have you enjoyed my guest bloggers lately? They have had some fantastic things to say about body image, iPhone fitness apps and thrifty home décor. And there are still 2 more guest posts going up this week to round out my birthday week extravaganza. Go read the guest posts…after you read this blog post.

My dining room (see the inspiration pic above…gorg!) is FINALLY starting to take shape through lots of hardwork and planning. If you remember this post, you’ll know that I have a pretty clear vision of what I want this room to look like from top to bottom. I want it to ooze traditional, modern American taste. Crown moudling, chair rail, wainscoting, white cabinetry mixed with quatrefoil patterns, luxe linens and shiny chrome. It is going to be fantabulous once I am done. Which will hopefully (cross my fingers and toes) this week. I simply love working for a college because during our extended holiday/vacation time, I get a lot done over here at the Benavidez residence. Maybe it’s because we’re first time homeowners or completely clueless, but DIY home stuff seems to take us longer than most people. I always wonder how people can knock stuff out in an afternoon and it takes us 2 weeks. Oh well! We march to the beat of our own drum.

Or maybe it’s that we can’t hear the drum?

I am the kind of blogger that refuses to share images until the whole project is done, so for now all you need to know is that my cabinets are on their way from dark oak to bright, chic white. With chrome hardware. Swoon! Now all we need is some more light in our dining room, and for that sort of stuff, I like to check out my usual stores. One of my usuals is most definitely CSN stores. I’ve used them from everything from Etsy/office supplies to furniture to chandeliers/lighting. Why? Well, most items have free shipping and their prices are fantastic. And being one of their preferred bloggers is something I am proud of because I know they stand behind their products/customers.

But back to lighting. See the chandeliers in the above picture? Well, it’s a Candice Olson makeover, so the lights are by her and they’re like $2K EACH. I did find comparable at Ethan Allen for about $1500. On sale. Ouch. Luckily, CSN Stores has a few that might work for our space (click on image to go to website to see pricing, etc.):

Which is your favorite? I think dining room lighting can be tricky, especially in a space like ours. It must serve the purpose of dining room, craft room, office space and entertaining space. I want it to feel luxurious without feeling overly stuffy like some dining rooms do. What’s your lighting like in your dining room? Are you a fan of chandeliers or something more practical like track lighting? I’d love to know.

That’s about if for me today- tomorrow my lovely friend Colleen from The Fit Bee will be talking to you all about health/fitness. She is an amazing woman whom I love to pieces, so make sure to swing by tomorrow and leave a comment so you can show Colleen some love and maybe win some uber cute earrings from me. I’ll be at Lady Gaga (P-p-p poker p-p-poker face!) in my egg costume. Kidding! But, I’ll be back on Thursday with some more pictures/details about the dining room makeover.

Living Beautifully {By Lacey}

Hi all! Thanks Monica for letting me share your virtual space through this guest post. You can find me at www.laceywilson15.blogspot.com. I'm a full-time public relations professional and I enjoy all things crafty, thrifty and pink.

xoxo,

Lacey Wilson

@laceywilson15

I love to change things up when it comes to home décor. I have to admit it’s a bit addictive. The only problem is, if you change your décor as often as you change your shoes, the price to decorate your space can equal the cost of a few Manolos.

Being a bit budget-conscious, I found a new hobby in thrift-store shopping for most of my home décor needs. Ok, I’m not going to lie, it took me awhile to get the hang of it…and I still reach for my hand sanitizer whenever I leave, but I feel a sense of accomplishment when I can find something at a discounted price, then refurbish/repaint/reuse it.

The key to incorporating thrift store finds into your DIY projects can be challenging but here are a few tips for those who are willing to give it a shot:

• Have a list of purposes, not items (ex: mail organizer rather than basket). This will help you keep an open mind when browsing.
• Keep an eye out of items that are sturdy…which leads me to my next point: 
• Overlook color and in some instances, fabric. You will be amazed at what spray paint and a little stroll down the upholstery aisle will do. 

And if you’re still not sure what to look for, try these for starters:

• Remnant fabric to cover an old bulletin cork board 
• Magazines – look for retro or fashion magazine covers to frame 
• Small plates for candle holders 
• Bookcases + curtain rods to create a gift-wrapping station 
• Picture frames – you can easily repaint them and you’ll spend just pennies compared to buying new ones. (See this one below, embellished with some wallpaper.)

For a little inspiration, here are some of my favorite before and after projects:

So whether you're shopping for first-hand items or perusing the local thrift stores, always remember, your home can be fabulous no matter the budget.

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Thanks so much Lacey! Doesn’t she have a lovely sense of style? I love her damask bench and chandelier makeover- stunning! Also, I can totally relate to having the heebie-jeebies when you go thrifting, but once you find some good stuff, you will be addicted! I know this first hand since I started actively thrifting in mid-2009 and have scored some lovely treasures. Carry a tape measure, hand sanitizer and an open imagination and you shall be golden! Want your own little treasure? Leave Lacey some love in the comments section to be entered for a free pair of floral earrings.

My Favorite Things {By Bari}

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...oh wait, wrong post. Oops!

Hi, my name is Bari and I normally post over at livelaughrunbreathe. I'm a 40 year old mom to teenaged twins (a girl & a boy), and I work full time as a Speech-Language Pathologist for a public school system. In the past 10 or 11 years; I’ve lost 50 pounds, gained 30 of it back, and then spent the past year re-losing said 30 pounds by taking up running. What, you may ask, am I doing over at Monica Wants It? Well, Monica put a call out on twitter a while back looking for guest bloggers. I asked what her readers could possibly want from me. She thought since I love my iPhone so much and often tweet from apps I've used for running or weight loss, I might have a nugget or two of wisdom to share. Plus, you Verizon folks will get to enjoy the awesomeness that is iPhone too! So here I am.

Now before I get started on my favorite things, I should state that the opinions here are strictly my own. I have purchased my phone and downloaded these apps with my own cash and haven't been compensated by Apple or AT&T in any way (but how cool would that be?). Also, I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on TV. Before you get started on a weight loss or fitness program, you should consult someone who really knows what they're talking about. Now, without further ado, a few of my favorite things!

• My iPhone! I have a 3GS because I couldn’t be patient enough to wait 6 months for the iphone4 to come out. Now I hear the 3GS is super cheap – like under 50 bucks! My only complaint is the battery life drains REALLYFAST if you are running multiple apps. It lasted for my 1/2 marathon, but just barely. From what I’ve read, the iPhone4’s battery may be a bit better. Now, if you don’t have the iPhone, either stop reading, because the rest of this post will just seem silly, or go out and get yourself one. I’ll wait…

OK, are you still with me? Sweet! Let’s continue…

• Extra battery case. Because these apps tend to drain the battery quite rapidly, I have an extra battery case like this one. It works very well without adding a lot of weight or bulk to your phone. I actually bought this before a vacation to Disney World and my phone managed to survive tweeting, face booking, picture taking, etc, etc all day in the park.

• Electric Miles: This is the app for the DailyMile website. If you are not already on DailyMile, I strongly suggest you sign up. It is essentially a social networking site for posting your fitness activities. You get lots of friends encouraging you by commenting on your workouts or calling you out if you haven’t posted in awhile. The app, Electric Miles, allows you to post and comment from your phone, without having to go out to the site. It’s super easy to use and if you have your Daily Mile account set to auto post to twitter and Facebook, the app will do that as well.

• iMapMyRun: As the app states, “Everything you need from couch potato to marathoner.” I have the “free” version of the app, and other than the occasional ad, it is does everything I want it to do. The app lets you use your phone’s GPS to track distance, time, pace, splits (I’ve never figured out how to access this-maybe it’s in the paid version), map routes as you run them and gives you voice feedback along the way. The app works whether you are running, walking, biking, hiking, whatever. When you log a workout, it has selections for the gym, sports, etc. but I have never used these features. I’ve only used it for running, biking, and walking. From what I can tell, the GPS is quite accurate, but like any GPS device, weather conditions will affect the accuracy of the mapping. One nice benefit to this app is the ability to edit the workout after it’s been recorded. I frequently use this feature to adjust the time (since the 30 seconds putting the phone in and out of my pocket and waiting for traffic will change my pace so much - LOL). I’ve also used it to fix the distance if clouds or snow have goofed up the GPS. You can multitask with other apps, take pictures, tweet, etc and the app keeps recording. When you are done (or even during your workout if you’ve selected that feature) you can tweet or Facebook your workout. You can also access your account online.

• RunKeeper Pro: I will admit I am much less familiar with this app as I just downloaded it in January because it was free (normally it is $9.99). I’ve only used it once on a very snowy, cloudy 2 mile run. The GPS was off .2 at the 1 mile mark but by the time I got home, was only off by .05. Pretty good considering the weather. I liked that I could start my iPod from RunKeeper and I did stop and take a photo while the app was running without the app stopping. I was also able to view the mile splits after the workout was completed. I don’t know if you can use other apps while it’s running, but I really haven’t played with it that much. Like MapMyRun, you can send your workouts to Twitter or Facebook and you have an online account that tracks your progress.

• Livestrong/daily plate: This awesome little app allows you to track your daily calories, figure out how many calories you burn with various activities, track your weight and more, all for $2.99! There are over 620,000 foods listed, including many common brands, plus countless fitness activities. Online, there is a support community plus the ability to generate your own recipes (and calculate their nutrition info). When I was actively working to lose weight, I used this app religiously.

• C210k and C25k: For anyone interested in starting a running or run/walk program, I highly recommend the couch to 5k and couch to 10k programs. There are several apps for both running programs. Some have their own music in the background, others allow you to use your own playlists or receive the audio cues without music. Some also have social network settings as well.

So, there you go! Everything (not really, who am I kidding?) you need to know to get started using that iPhone and Get Moving! Hopefully you learned of a new app or are interested in learning even more. Thank you to Monica for giving me the opportunity to share!

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Thank you Bari! You should definitely check out Bari’s blog over at http://www.livelaughrunbreathe.com/ Bari is such a wonderful twipal (twitter + pal) and she is a running maven. She inspires me to be great, and I thank her again for taking the time to compile THIS awesome list of apps. Now, I know you’re probably anxious to go download them all, but before you do that leave a comment for a chance to win some cute floral earrings to wear as you workout!

Paddling Through The Middle {By Michelle}

When people write about body image, weight, self-esteem I think back to my days of blogging and starting the Exposed Movement: http://exposedmovement.wordpress.com/

You see for the past 10+ years I have been on a mission to lose weight. I have successfully kept off around 90lbs.

I was lower at one point in my life, by about 40lbs, and I was spiritually freaking miserable.

How does being skinny = miserable?

Well, it’s all how you approach your weight loss and how much you respect your body. After getting to my lowest, I started to full.on.binge. Jars of almond butter, pans of brownies, puking in the shower. I was miserable. The weight crept on. Over 2 years I gained 40lbs.

During this time I started to think about my body. I started going to counseling to find my center of control, to find the spring in the step that I had lost…I went to find my spirit.

In our quest to become ‘thin’  in life and to HATE the way we look we hold our spirits in bondage. We sit, wallow, starve, over-exercise, and punish away the one thing that many of us are chasing..LIFE. LIVING!

I can’t say that there was an epiphany of sorts in my life. It wasn’t an over-night change, it was the slow progression of making peace with food. Making peace with the weight I was at and realising that I am more than a calorie, point, or pant size.

Three things which have helped in over-coming my issues with food, balance, and my weight:

1. Admitting where I was, what was causing me to numb my pain
2. Seeking help: Counseling, “Women Food and God”, “A Million Miles In A Thousand Years” and my faith
3. Focusing on today..and ONLY today. Give each the best that you can give it.

The past two years have been exhausting and the most life-giving thing that I’ve done. I never refused to give up.

“The reward you get from a story is always less than you thought it would be, and the work is harder than you imagined. The point of a story is never about the ending, remember. It's about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle" ~ Donald Miller "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

~Michelle @ http://exposedmovement.wordpress.com/

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Thanks so much to Michelle for her inspiring words about loving ourselves no matter what size/shape we are. How we look doesn’t have to define us, and though we obsess about it, it’s not all of who we are. Remember to leave a comment to be entered for a pair of earrings to help you feel a little more lovely.

Happy Birthday {Life}

Today is my 26th birthday. Wow. I can remember 13, 16 and even 21 quite vividly, so it’s weird to think I am now 26. As in closer to 30 than 20.

Gah.

Have you all seen those lovely commercials with Rihanna, Celine Dion and Ricky Martin singing Happy Birthday? Yes? No? Well, if you haven’t, you can see all the commercials and even send personalized e-cards or phone calls via www.morebirthdays.com sponsored by the American Cancer Society. (They even have a Justin Bieber phone call you can send…yes, really. Your tween will LOVE YOU if you have Justin Bieber call her.)

Having lost a friend to cancer in 2010, this cause means a lot to me. Kelly was only 30 when she passed away from breast cancer, and so when I saw this campaign from the American Cancer Society, I wanted to help spread the word about their movement. Cancer does take away so many birthdays for people, and then I started thinking about my birthday. What can I do to help my people have more birthdays? More laughter. More motivation. More of anything to make life that much sweeter. Then I remembered all the lovely guest posts that my guest bloggers wrote for me that I had yet to publish. Why not publish all those posts during my birthday week to help people… Be healthier. Be more empowered. Be beautiful. Be knowledgeable.

So that is exactly what I am doing. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be posting daily guest blog posts by various friends of mine who all have generously given up their time and expertise to writing something for my little blog. My blog may not be huge, but I hope to make it mighty. And to share the love, one lucky commenter from EACH blog post will win a cute pair of earrings in your choice of color, from me to you. Show the comment love to my guest bloggers and I’ll fork over some lovely earrings. It’s a win-win.

If you could do anything to help your loved ones have more birthdays, what would you do?

Why not do it?

I’m off to figure out what else to do with my birthday afternoon off. I might be productive, I might blog some, I might nap some. But bottom line is I feel so blessed to be alive and touched in some way by everyone who reads my blog or Twitter. My days are brighter, my heart is fuller and my life is richer with you in it.

Authentic {Be Yourself}

This Tuesday evening/night was absolute hell for me. Now, I’m not going to go into what happened that evening that caused me to lose sleep and feel shitty about myself because I simply don’t want to go there again. The only final words I have to say in reference to that debacle was that my questions were NOT meant to offend anyone. I was NOT trying to be sarcastic, insensitive, rude or any of the other names I was called. I was trying to learn about something I’ve been terrified to ask about because of fear of getting the type of hateful reactions I received on Tuesday. I’m sorry I even tried- I should have just stayed quiet and oblivious.

Or Googled it. Because Google is always accurate, right?

Wednesday, the feeling of being a terrible person just loomed over my frizzy head all day long. I was pissed off. I kept thinking about Tuesday evening over and over in my mind. I told my co-workers and friends about it. Then I decided to go to Facebook and unfriend people. I know that at first glance it doesn’t seem like those 2 things really correlate. How does feeling bad about yourself equate to wanting to go crazy unfriending people on Facebook? Yeah, I don’t know. It was cathartic though. Truly. Like I had control or the upper hand.

And inevitably, the awkward thing happens when you go to unfriend a specific person and they’ve already unfriended you. That moment of “What the hell?” rushes over you, and frankly, you’re just angry you didn’t dump them first. And then I pondered about why they unfriended me. What did I do? Was it something I said?

Then I went on a deleting rampage of about 20 of my 200 or so “friends” on Facebook. Friends is a term I use loosely in regards to Facebook because there are chicks from high school on there. Now, if I call you my friend on Twitter, you’re golden.

But back to being unfriended on Facebook by someone you know IN REAL LIFE (sad that I have to emphasize that, but you know) that you used to be friends with- or so you thought. That you used to talk to daily and then they just cut you off. CUT YOU OFF. Out of nowhere. After you were there for big moments in their life, after you shared intimate secrets with them, after you did things to help them, after you were there for them in their time of crisis and heartache…what a slap in the face. I’ve never confronted these girls about why they just completely cut me out of their lives because I feel fragile right now. I don’t want to hear, “Well, Monica, you’re whiny.” Or maybe, “Well, you don’t have kids, so therefore, we have nothing in common with you anymore. But nice knowing you!” Perhaps, “Well, Monica, we just don’t want to be your friend anymore. Bottom line.”

Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

I don’t want to hear any of that. Who would? Really.

After moping a bit, I tried to think of what truly bothered me about the whole situation. Was it that I felt bad for losing good friends? Felt dumb for thinking they were “true” friends to begin with? Or is it simply not knowing what I did?

All of the above.

But then, I tried to be completely raw with my feelings to get to the root of it all. I was upset that maybe…they didn’t like me. I want to be liked. It’s so vain, so self-centered, but such a pure emotion of wanting to be accepted and cherished for who I am. Whiny. A lush. Emotional. Sensitive. Funny. Curse like a sailor. Acne scarred. Thunder thighs. Over-analyzer. Quintessential dreamer. Britney Spears lover. Smarty pants. Purveyor of all things damask.

And a friend. A good, true friend.

Then on Thursday, something just clicked inside me. A glorious epiphany came to light: I was apologizing for who I am. Changing myself to try to fit in. Not being an authentic version of myself. Not being accepted.

I shouldn’t have to apologize for being who I am. I shouldn’t have to change my qualities and quirks. I am all the things I mentioned in this post on top of so many other things. There are lots of people who like, even love, who I am. As is. Nothing altered. Just me. Raw.

Today it’s Friday, and what I feel is love and empowerment for myself. Those girls that rid of my friendship, well, I wish them happy, beautiful lives. Regardless of why they chose to ditch me from their circle of friends, at least I know I am authentic.

And that’s simply a beautiful thing.

A Balancing Act {Healthy Living}

Thanks to Crystal Light for sponsoring this post. To learn more about how Crystal Light can flavor your day with 30 refreshing flavors, visit http://www.facebook.com/crystallight.

Take time to smell the roses/flowers…as illustrated by Pee Wee.

I used to think of myself as a professional dieter- always trying to lose weight, never quite finishing what I started. Like millions across the world (if not billions) this year I decided to rid of that title and just be healthy. Sure, it can be easy to try to plan to have healthier meals, but what about making enough time in your day to incorporate healthy activities like exercise or even sleep? Are these things you sometimes throw by the wayside because life is just hectic? I know how you feel. Trust me, I do.

I also know first hand how important it is to make time for yourself, especially if you’re wanting to be healthy. Sometimes I feel guilty over spending an hour or so on exercise when there are dishes in the sink, clothes to be put away or floors to be vacuumed. Or I feel even MORE guilty when I know I could be talking to my mom on the phone (she lives 2 hours away) or my best friend or just hanging out with my husband. These priorities of ours don’t just magically disappear because we need to exercise or rest or unwind for a little bit. So, what’s a person to do? I’ll tell ya what I do.

I can honestly say that over the past 60 days of 2011, I’ve learned a little thing called balance. And time management. After all, I have worked out for 60 consecutive days for an average of 45 minutes DAILY. However, I often waste a lot of time on Twitter (love it!) or just watching TV. That is time that could have been better spent OR I could have multi-tasked. I’ve gone back to the old school ways of planning out a schedule for myself that includes time to focus on fitness AND relaxation along with all the other “stuff” that comes with being an adult. Priorities also are important—and just because you feel a bit of guilt for wanting to go for an hour run or go to bed on time doesn’t mean they aren’t priorities. They are and you can make them happen. No excuses.

TV is not a priority, though I could argue with you about Glee and likely win that it is a MUST see on Tuesdays, so utilize that DVR or workout during your favorite TV show. Double duty. My husband will be nice enough to cook dinner while I exercise so that we both have time to spend with each other later in the evening. He helps me reach my goals because I’ve made him aware of what they are- communication is key. Often times he’ll cook enough for 2-4 meals, which means less time all around in the kitchen. I try to set a timer on my phone to allow myself a limit as to how long I can spend virtual shopping or scoping out Twitter.

Bottom line is that you can fit all of it in without feeling like you’re sacrificing anything. Shifting priorities, scheduling time for yourself and asking for help from those you love will all lead to less stress and more balance…and a better YOU.

And hey, those clothes can sit there for a few days if it means I got in some healthy time for my mind and body. How do you find balance in your life (especially if you have children)? What are your favorite ways to have a healthy mind and body?  What motivates you to find the time for yourself daily?

Here’s another reminder of what motivates me:

Remember, visit http://www.facebook.com/crystallight to learn more about how Crystal Light can flavor your day with 30 refreshing flavors. I was selected and paid for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.