Monday, July 22, 2013

Ode to Donuts {Health & Weight Loss}

I told you all I was going to keep you all updated during my sugar detox.

Today SUCKS y’all. Ohmyword.

Conversations with me today went something like this:

Random Co-Worker: “Hey Monica! I have something really important to talk to you about. Blah Blah Blah… <I stop listening> So, what do you think?!”

Me: “Did you say you had donuts?”

Random Co-Worker: “Um, no, I said that <I tune out again here>. You understand?”

Me: “Donut.”

Yeah.

Apparently no carbs makes me delirious, angry, sad, angry, repetitive, angry, and I lost all ability to focus and concentrate on anything.

Donut.

MAKE THIS STOP! I even told my friend today: “I’m so sorry for the words I’ve spoken out of hunger.”

I’m not going to lie—I am damn miserable. Blah. RAWR!

Things I’ve noticed since I’ve stopped eating delicious carbs:

  • My head hurts like whoa.
  • Everyone is my enemy.
  • No one has donuts. EVER.
  • This is awful.
  • My skin is slightly freaking out…in a bad way.
  • I don’t look like Jessica Alba.
  • Everything takes an extraordinary amount of effort.
  • Coffee tastes awful.
  • I just wanna lay down and sob.

Have I mentioned it’s only been like 36 hours? How do people do this for long periods of time? People tell me there will be a puppies, sunshine and rainbows feeling soon, and it cannot come soon enough. Tonight I’m having a drink with one of my dearest pals, and thank goodness she insists on picking me up to show off her new ride. Because honestly, if I have to drive myself anywhere, I’m going straight to the donuts.

Does this get easier? Is this worth it? Why do so many documentaries say wheat/gluten/carbs are poison? Is that true? But isn’t all this meat product equally bad for me? Maybe moderation is OK, and I should stop the madness.

Someone just pass me a freakin’ donut.

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