I told you all I was going to keep you all updated during my sugar detox.

Today SUCKS y’all. Ohmyword.

Conversations with me today went something like this:

Random Co-Worker: “Hey Monica! I have something really important to talk to you about. Blah Blah Blah… <I stop listening> So, what do you think?!”

Me: “Did you say you had donuts?”

Random Co-Worker: “Um, no, I said that <I tune out again here>. You understand?”

Me: “Donut.”

Yeah.

Apparently no carbs makes me delirious, angry, sad, angry, repetitive, angry, and I lost all ability to focus and concentrate on anything.

Donut.

MAKE THIS STOP! I even told my friend today: “I’m so sorry for the words I’ve spoken out of hunger.”

I’m not going to lie—I am damn miserable. Blah. RAWR!

Things I’ve noticed since I’ve stopped eating delicious carbs:

• My head hurts like whoa.
• Everyone is my enemy.
• No one has donuts. EVER.
• This is awful.
• My skin is slightly freaking out…in a bad way.
• I don’t look like Jessica Alba.
• Everything takes an extraordinary amount of effort.
• Coffee tastes awful.
• I just wanna lay down and sob.

Have I mentioned it’s only been like 36 hours? How do people do this for long periods of time? People tell me there will be a puppies, sunshine and rainbows feeling soon, and it cannot come soon enough. Tonight I’m having a drink with one of my dearest pals, and thank goodness she insists on picking me up to show off her new ride. Because honestly, if I have to drive myself anywhere, I’m going straight to the donuts.

Does this get easier? Is this worth it? Why do so many documentaries say wheat/gluten/carbs are poison? Is that true? But isn’t all this meat product equally bad for me? Maybe moderation is OK, and I should stop the madness.

Someone just pass me a freakin’ donut.

The past 36 hours I have had the headache from hell. Like absolutely miserable. No amount of advil is working. Ohmygoshhelp.

So, I decided to make matters worse by doing a sugar detox. Yeah. I apparently want to have a terrible headache and be a cranky person. You’ve been warned everybody! Stay away from Monica.

I’ve been professionally trying to lose weight for, oh, like ever, so it’s always on my darn mind. Lose weight. Lose weight. Lose weight. Oh a donut! Lose weight. Hey, beer time! Lose weight. That’s a glimpse of my psyche right there. Ugh. So this year, I had managed to lose about 17 pounds, and now I’m at only 9 pounds loss, which means…lose weight. Obviously whatever I am doing is just not working, and I think the culprit is carbs. Not all of them, but the refined, delicious ones. Like donuts. Which I love. A lot.

I love donuts so much that I look forward to the fateful day in August when Bath & Body Works releases their cinnamon sugared donut scented candle. Judge away. Even worse, I snag all those suckers up once they go on clearance. I’m literally hoarding one right now in my home office. Maybe I’ll light that and sniff it when I get a donut craving.

{Photo credit}

With great triumphs, comes great sacrifice. And I’m willing to sacrifice refined sugars to see if I feel better. Well, honestly how could I feel worse? For real, y’all. I was on vacay in Houston with my pal last month, and while she was shopping away at most stores, I was sitting on a bench outside the store waiting for her because none of the clothes in there fit me. None. And how pitiful is it to google, “Plus size stores in Houston Galleria?”

The answer: hardly any unless you’re over 60 or want to look like a plus size prostitute. I prefer neither of those, thankyouverymuch!

I’m tired of being the DFF. Designated fat friend. I WANT TO SHOP AT NORMAL STORES! Oh, and yeah, I’m not talking about the plus size section at the JCP at La Palmera Mall—it’s upstairs, in a dark corner, sequestered with the maternity clothes, in the ONE PART of the store that has not been renovated. Oh, oh, and…!!! The fitting rooms are not air conditioned because they want us fluffies to sweat. I know I need to, but maybe not while I’m trying on clothes I haven’t even purchased, mkay, JCP?

But I digress.

I really do think that too many carbs and sugars have led my body to store fat despite my best efforts at calorie counting. This can lead to insulin resistance and diabetes. No thank you. Maybe for the first time in my life, my desire to be healthy is trumping my desire to be thin and shop at normal stores.

Here’s my plan of action for the next week:

• No pasta, bread, sweets, refined sugars, etc.
• I can eat fruit and nuts. And veggies, of course.
• Lean proteins.
• Nothing fried!
• I’m not quitting my diet soda for fear of committing a crime out of anger/hunger, but am limiting myself to 1-2 a day.
• Alcohol in moderation (though I will try to avoid it)
• Water, water, water! With lemon. :)
• I can still use honey/splenda, sparingly.
• Non-fat, unsweetened yogurt is OK.
• I’m reading this book and this book to remind myself that science backs this up.

Nothing crazy. Or at least not to me. Some of the sugar detox plans called for like no fruit, no honey, no caffeine, no artificial sweeteners…Once you start telling me what I can’t have, I obsess over it. I think this one-week trial is enough to get my foot in the door of trying to cut out some of the things I know are just not good for me. And then I can cut some more later. You can view my daily food diary over on MyFitnessPal and feel free to friend me if you’d like.

I’ll be blogging/tweeting about my progress, so if you want to cheer me on, please do so. I really hope this helps my constant headaches, oily skin and acne issues. Plus, I am so tired, cranky, and generally just not the woman I’d like to be because of all this junk in my body. Maybe I do have a gluten issue or am insulin resistant, so this will help no matter how I look at it. Lastly, this gets me started on a semi-paleo/gluten free/low carb lifestyle that I’d like to adopt forever. If you want proof that Paleo/gluten free can be delicious, please visit Juli’s blog: PaleOMG.com. (Thanks @FlamingoToes_ for the rec!)

Tortillas, I will miss thee!

Have you tried to combat a sugar addiction? Any tips, helpful blogs, success stories, or donut recipes that aren’t made with flour/gluten/sugar would be lovely.

Everyone has a family heirloom, right? For some people it may be grandma’s old rocking chair or grandpa’s favorite foot stool. These are priceless, timeless pieces that seem to always fit into our heart and homes.

Above: A memorial candle I had in honor of my granny at my wedding. That candle is now an heirloom in our family; it’s in my mom’s possession.

The priceless heirloom that I have in my possession is my grandma’s collection of costume jewelry. My granny was born in the 1920’s, so her collection is very vintage and chic. I remember when I was younger I loved to sit with her and try on all of the jewels. I felt like a princess of sorts with all that bling. And honestly, I just don’t see that kind of jewelry anymore, unfortunately.

Above: Me looking like a princess…as usual!

My mom gave me the collection after my grandma passed away in 2006, and I have it tucked away safe and sound. However, I thought I should display some of it, so I am officially inspired to do a DIY project. I know traditional heirlooms tend to be antique furniture pieces or family quilts, etc. but really I think any item that is treasured deserves the designation as an heirloom. DIY projects can help bring these heirlooms to life. In my case, my grandma’s vintage jewelry has inspired me to create a piece of art that I’ll enjoy for many years to come.

Above: My mom, my granny and me. :)

You can see the  priceless value of a dining table/heirloom in the YouTube video below by True Value. Warning—it’s a tear jerker, but I really want you to watch this video. It’s good! I got all misty eyed during the video, but it’s a good reminder of the power of DIY and the True Value of life—those we love. Family heirlooms can keep memories alive, and I think that’s what most of us want to do to honor those we love. I look forward to sharing with you my finished DIY project honoring my granny and her love of fabulously gorgeous baubles.

Video by True Value

So in honor of keeping memories and heirlooms alive, both in our hearts and homes, True Value is sponsoring a $50 gift card giveaway on my blog to help with your project. You can enter below on Rafflecopter, and there are several ways you can enter. Good luck! True Value is also hosting a Pin to Win Sweepstakes--You can find more information about that over here. Two exciting contests for you to be able to enter. Contest is open from now until July 22, 2013 at 12 am CST.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: I am also being provided with a $50 gift card in exchange for a post/giveaway promoting the True Value brand and their Pinterest contest.